If the parents have kept their conflicts hidden, the announcement of a divorce can come as a shock and be met with enormous resentment. If the divorce means a reduction in tensions, the child may feel relief. The degree of conflict prior to the divorce plays a role. The impact of divorce on children depends on a number of factors.
If divorce leads to fighting between the parents and the child is included in these arguments, the self-esteem may suffer. In single-parent homes, children may be given more opportunity to discover their own abilities and gain independence that fosters self-esteem. For instance, we have learned that positive self-esteem comes in part from a belief in the self and one’s abilities rather than merely being complimented by others. Some positive consequences reflect improvements in meeting these functions. Some negative consequences are a result of financial hardship rather than divorce per se (Drexler, 2005).
#Middle child depression pro#
Factors Affecting the Impact of DivorceĪs you look at the consequences (both pro and con) of divorce and remarriage on children, keep these family functions in mind. The tasks of families listed above are functions that can be fulfilled in a variety of family types-not just intact, two-parent households. Harmony and stability can be achieved in many family forms and when it is disrupted, either through divorce, or efforts to blend families, or any other circumstances, the child suffers (Hetherington & Kelly, 2002). More recently, a more objective view of divorce, re-partnering, and remarriage indicates that divorce, remarriage, and life in stepfamilies can have a variety of effects. The exaggeration of the negative consequences of divorce has left the majority of those who do well hidden and subjected them to unnecessary stigma and social disapproval (Hetherington & Kelly, 2002). Mintz (2004) suggests that the alarmist view of divorce was due in part to the newness of divorce when rates in the United States began to climb in the late 1970s. Adults reacting to the change grew up in the 1950s when rates were low. As divorce has become more common and there is less stigma associated with divorce, this view has changed somewhat. Social scientists have operated from the divorce as a deficit model emphasizing the problems of being from a “broken home” (Seccombe &Warner, 2004). Notice that in addition to providing food, shelter, and clothing, families are responsible for helping the child learn, relate to others, and have a confident sense of self. The family provides a harmonious and stable environment for living. A good home environment is one in which the child’s physical, cognitive, emotional, and social needs are adequately met. Sometimes families emphasize physical needs but ignore cognitive or emotional needs. Other times, families pay close attention to physical needs and academic requirements, but may fail to nurture the child’s friendships with peers or guide the child toward developing healthy relationships. Parents might want to consider how it feels to live in the household. Is it stressful and conflict-ridden? Is it a place where family members enjoy being? Family Change: DivorceĪ lot of attention has been given to the impact of divorce on the life of children. The assumption has been that divorce has a strong, negative impact on the child and that single-parent families are deficient in some way. Research suggests 75-80 percent of children and adults who experience divorce suffer no long term effects (Hetherington & Kelly, 2002). Children of divorce and children who have not experienced divorce are more similar than different (Hetherington & Kelly, 2002). One of the ways to assess the quality of family life is to consider the tasks of families.īerger (2005) lists five family functions:
Children raised in authoritative households tend to be confident, successful, and happy (Chao, 2001 Stewart and Bond, 2002). A more harsh form of parenting, authoritarian parenting, uses strict discipline and focuses on obedience. Authoritative parenting which uses reason and joint decision-making whenever possible may be the most effective approach (Berk, 2007). Parents may have to modify their approach to parenting to accommodate the child’s growing independence. Family relationships change as preteens want to spend more time with friends.ĭuring middle childhood, children spend less time with parents and more time with peers.
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